


The Pirates of Fabu(Book 1.3)

by The_Phoenixs_Keeper



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Humor, In-Jokes, Parody, Pirates, Random - Freeform, fabu, friends - Freeform, kingdom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Phoenixs_Keeper/pseuds/The_Phoenixs_Keeper
Summary: Queen Rose Maximum ruled the land of... well there's a copyright so I can't say what land it is. Let's try this again...Queen Rose Maximum lived in a kingdom far, far away. Her loyal subjects paid the potato tax and lived mostly peacefully. The royal librarians, Piscina and Eposa Wyntor, were supposedly sisters. At least that's what they wanted everyone to think for some plot-related reason. Or maybe no reason at all.The royal band(yes that is a thing)included September Tay, who has something to do with something. Probably she's rock n' rolling with the band.The royal jester, Conspiro Grey, was in charge of making puns and saying.... we'll get to that later, actually. It's safe to say that everything he does in the story is a jest.Living in the castle dungeon was The Dungeon Monster, who was actually named Aradia Time. But her job included going by "The Dungeon Monster".When the legendary band(different kind of band)of pirates known as The Pirates of Fabu invade the land, Queen Rose sends a few of her loyalest castle staff to save the day. But who are these pirates?Whoever they are, they better watch out, they might die of laughter when they see the group sent to stop them.





	1. Introduction

Hello!

Welcome to my attempt at writing a serious story.

Just kidding.

I hope to abandon seriousness entirely, but first I need to determine a few things. You may have clicked on this for one of various possible reasons, the most likely one of which is that you were bored. But would you really enjoy reading this story? Excellent question. I have prepared a quiz, which will determine the likelihood of your enjoyment:

**Choose _one_ answer to each question, because if you don't I will sneak into your room tonight and draw a mustache on your face with a purple sharpie. Oh and your result won't be accurate.**

 

**(1) Are you crazy?**

**A. Yes.**

**B. No.**

**C. Duh.**

**P. ;)  
**

 

**(2) _How_ crazy?**

**A. Crazier than you.**

**B. I already said I wasn't crazy.**

**C. THIS MUCH. *Arms stretched out as wide as possible***

**P. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
**

 

**(3) Did you notice that P doesn't come after C?**

**A. Do I look stupid?**

**B. Yes...**

**C. OH YEAH. I mean... yes of course I did.**

**P. Clams.  
**

 

**(4) Did you hit 'Back' yet?**

**A. If I did I wouldn't have read that.**

**B. ... *B person is gone***

**C. *Screams* Wait, why am I screaming?**

**P. Maybe.  
**

 

**(5) Do you generally like pointless stories that have little plot and insane characters running around? (Note: Twilight is this, but it's also badly written with a terrible romance and thus does not count.)**

**A. I like Twilight... (You're disqualified)**

**B. *R.I.P.***

**C. Yeah I love insanity. :D**

**P. Whoa, that sounds really familiar...  
**

 

**(6) Are you someone I know?**

**A. Nope...**

**B. *Likely did not return***

**C. Si.**

**P. How did you know?  
**

 

**Results:**

**Mostly A answers- I doubt it.**

**Mostly B answers- You left so obviously not.**

**Mostly C answers- 90% chance.**

**Mostly P answers- Come to the dark side... there will be cookies.**

 

Now that you know where you stand on that scale, I'll be kind enough to explain why this is Book 1.3 instead of Book 1.0. Or would that be Book 1? Same difference. Anyway, Books 1.1 and 1.2 aren't exactly necessary to know for reading Book 1.3. ~~But for those who are curious about what happened before, the next two parts will explain. Feel free to skip them. That is, when I have gotten far enough that you actually _can_ skip them, because I may be/will be slow to update.~~  _It will never be explained because I didn't ever feel like explaining it. ~~  
~~_

 

 _The Pirates of Fabu_ is dedicated to the actual Pirates of Fabu, A.K.A. my incredible, weird friends.

Hope you guys like it!


	2. Nopeville

Once upon a-....

Once upon a. ... ?!?!?!?! T- AGH.

Once upon a Ti- .... (The Narrator appears to be experiencing some technical difficulties)

Maybe we should skip that particular beginning sentence.

As you already know, Queen Rose Maximum ruled the land--the copyrighted land--of... well the actual name of this land cannot be said by any except Queen Rose herself, so we'll just call it what 99.9999999% of the population call it: Nopeville. Conspiro Grey calls it Flyingspoon, but he's not anywhere near the majority of the population. So Nopeville it is.

Within the castle, Eposa Wyntor was carrying a basket of potatoes. Eposa didn't actually go by her real name, she went by Epik. Nobody is even sure if Eposa Wyntor is her real name, to be perfectly honest. But anyway... the potato tax had been collected and there was a sudden lack of royal servants to carry the baskets, so Epik had volunteered. At least, that's what she would tell you if you asked, but in truth someone higher up who wanted a coffee break threatened her with a spork.

Aradia--otherwise known as the Dungeon Monster--was peeking out of one of the many drainage grates scattered over the castle's stone floors. The drainage pipes themselves of course led to none other than the Dungeons... and here's the first statement in this story that points out the obvious. The other statements that pointed out the obvious don't count because they are only obvious to those who read the summary of this story and are geniuses at statistics. At least I'm 95% certain of that...

When Aradia spotted Epik carrying a basket of potatoes, she had an absolutely wonderful idea! Wonderful only from her point of view, I might add. Epik couldn't really see over the humongous pile of potatoes in the basket, and it was making it really difficult for her to carry it and not run into anything or trip over anything. Aradia inserted rather long fingernails into the grate and pushed it up with a horrible scraping sound that should have given Epik a clue. Unfortunately Epik had just started having a coughing fit and was trying to stop, although a couple potatoes had already hit the ground and rolled away.

Aradia quietly pulled herself out of the drainage pipe, long dark robe billowing around her and contrasting with her whiteboard colored skin. She crept up behind Epik, who was now trying to figure out how to put the basket down to retrieve the missing potatoes. Although Epik was beginning to not care a few were missing and planning to sneak into a certain higher up's room with a spork to get even. Or bribe someone to do it for her.  Aradia then leaned over Epik's shoulder and whispered in a hissing voice,  "Monster Time."

(Scene ends because the Narrator inexplicably freaked out)                                                                  

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epik opened her eyes to find herself lying in an ungraceful heap and covered in potatoes. Queen Rose herself was staring down at Epik with an eyebrow raised. Aradia stood next to Queen Rose, grinning with her shark-like teeth all showing. Epik screamed.

"If you're done losing your head over one little word," her highness began impatiently, "I have something extremely important to tell you. But, I don't have the time, so here's a note." Queen Rose dropped the note on Epik's head. Then, after patting Aradia on the head--and saying "Who's a good Dungeon Monster?"--Queen Rose exited through a door that probably led somewhere. Although it could have been a closet with a laptop and food. Who knows?

Epik peered at the note.

_Extremely important:_

_The so-called Pirates of Fabu (they are certainly of Fabu but I don't know if they are actually pirates) have invaded the land. You and the usual gang need to go and handle the situation. Grey already suggested explosives for the handling but I'm afraid we're on a tight budget so we can only spare one firework. Good luck!_

_~Queen Rose Maximum, Royal Seal Here._

Epik groaned just as the telltale guitar notes entered the hallway. They were followed by September Tay, who went by Septy. Epik jumped up and kicked a potato out of her way. She was done with potatoes. So very done.

"Making potato salad?" Septy asked with a smirk. It could have been a kind, sweet, innocent smile. But neither Epik, Aradia, nor anyone/anything else in the hallway would have thought it was, so it's safe to say it wasn't.

"I hope we're getting a pay raise," Epik said.  "We better get a pay raise." Septy strummed some more notes on her guitar as she spoke. Aradia said nothing, just snatched one of the potatoes and ate it in one gulp. Piscina Wyntor walked in just at this moment--and she went by Pisces but again nobody is even sure if Piscina Wyntor is _her_ real name and she probably isn't Epik's sister--holding a note like the one Epik had been handed. Well had dropped on her head. Same difference. "Are we supposed to go now," Pisces asked, "or tomorrow? _Or_ next week?"

"WE'RE GOING RIGHT _NOW!_ " came the scream of the crazy jester known as Grey for short as he charged in. He not only charged in, he set off the firework he was holding. The only explosive they had been allowed. BOOM. The firework's sparks flew everywhere, an unsavory combination of pink and orange. Almost everyone screamed, except for Pisces, Aradia and Septy. Which I suppose really isn't almost everyone. The only difference between Epik's scream and Grey's scream was that Epik had screamed--although by some definitions it could have been considered a screech--"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU IDIOT!" and Grey had screamed "EXPLOSIVE STORY OPENER CONSPIRACY!"

 

_**Until next time...** _


	3. The Essentials

Because they had to leave right at that very moment for no obvious reason, Pisces wisely suggested they only pack "the essentials" and head out. Interestingly enough, what exactly "the essentials" are is highly debatable among various types of individuals. The Dungeon Monster got her best top hat for the occasion and caused a minor fainting fit for someone who wasn't named Septy, Grey, Pisces or Queen Rose.

Grey packed various items into his pockets, because everyone knows guys' clothes have the best pockets. Girls' pockets are generally not capable of storing their hands, let alone a phone, iPod, or any other important items. Now I will stop going on this tangent about pockets and continue with the story.

Pisces probably packed the most sensible items. No idea what would be considered sensible on a completely senseless journey that is written in a senseless context... but whatever.

Epik packed a spork(as her weapon of choice), chocolate, and coffee, although she didn't have room for a coffee maker. This was--according to her--a minor detail. Epik came upon Septy, who had apparently decided not to take her guitar. Probably a wise decision. However, it appeared she was packing... her iPod. Yes, yes of course there were iPods in Nopeville, the somewhat medieval themed land. Do not question it. Or the guitar. Or the probable closet with a laptop that Queen Rose is currently in. Or the questionable existence of WiFi.

Epik blinked and said cautiously, "Uh, Septy, shouldn't you only pack things you can't live withou-?" Epik was of course disregarding the fact that chocolate and coffee are two things that humans _can_ live without. Then again, Epik probably couldn't. The reason Epik wasn't able to finish her sentence was because Septy was now glaring at her. Pointedly. It was a look that said Epik better shut up before somebody--Epik that is--got hurt. "I am," was all Septy deigned to respond with. This is a fine example of where opinions divide on what "the essentials" are. Epik squeaked and scrambled off, deciding not to ask how Septy was going to charge it on their journey. Of _course_ the castle itself had electrical outlets. Duh.

"Is everyone ready?" Pisces asked of the group assembled in the castle atrium. Septy hurried off after just having arrived. "I need to check tumblr!"

Grey took the opportunity to shout, "WAITING CONSPIRACY!" Everyone face-palmed. I think Aradia was just readjusting her top hat, though. Epik scooted another half a football field away from Aradia. It was a large atrium, you see.

Septy returned, looking fab in her dark clothing of which description fails to describe. Epically. The point is, she looked pantastic. Everyone else looked about average except for Aradia--who looked creepy--because the narrator got tired of describing appearances before even beginning.

So they were off. Well not exactly. They were presented with the challenge of the front doors, which were massive. The nameless, unimportant guard there was having trouble figuring out what lever or switch to pull or maybe push. Guard of Random sighed. "Allow me," Septy said as she walked up to the doors and kicked them open. CRACK. One fell off its hinges and into the moat. Everyone stared at Septy. "Oops." Septy seemed unconcerned as she walked out across the bridge which was not a drawbridge. For some odd reason. This is a castle, right? Oh wait. I'm the one telling the story. Ahem. Anyway.

Grey, Aradia, Pisces and Epik followed her. Grey patted the flabbergasted Guard of Random's head and whispered, "There's a warranty for that."

And so the Nopevillian fell in love with- wait. Sorry, wrong story.

Thus the Nopevillians began their incredibly insane journey.

 

**_Until the next solar eclipse..._**


	4. Riddles, Trolls, and Pokemon

The brave castle staff were barely out of the castle when they came to a rickety bridge crossing a turbulent river. A river of lava.

"I didn't know this was here..." Pisces said, completely confused. Which is understandable. Rivers of lava often do not randomly appear in your local neighborhood.

Grey got out a mug. "I'm trying it," he announced. Septy rolled her eyes. "Go ahead, we'll wait."

"No Grey!" Pisces and Epik both said in unison. Aradia was obviously bored by the proceedings and yawned, showing all her wonderfully terrible sharky teeth. "Why not?" Grey asked, as clearly it is perfectly reasonable to want a cup of lava. Pisces stared at him. Epik face-palmed repeatedly. "Let's just get across. This is boring." Septy interrupted. Rude of her. Septy got out her iPod because moments such as these called for Green Day.

The group approached the bridge, which was creaking and swinging in a nonexistent wind. "What's the catch to this?" Epik wondered out loud. She seemed to expect it to be harder than just walking across for some strange reason. Then a person wearing a troll mask jumped out from under the bridge.

"TROLOLOLOLOL," the Troll said. Pisces muttered, "Oh this will be fun." Septy, who probably hadn't heard anything, nonetheless raised her eyebrows at the Troll. Aradia was not impressed herself. Nobody knows what she was feeling, though.

"Did you get that mask at Walmart?" Grey inquired. The Troll sniffed indignantly, saying, "No, I got it on Amazon! Geez." Grey smirked.

"So are we supposed to answer a riddle or something?" Epik wanted to get down to business. The Troll stroked a nonexistent beard. "Well I was going to suggest a game of Chess but that works too. So here's your riddle that I looked up on Google five minutes ago: 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'"

Utter silence. Except for Septy, who was singing along to her music and not paying attention. "But..." Epik said, "...you stole that from _The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland_!"

"Well I just told you I looked it up on Google. So _that's_ where that riddle comes from, eh?" The Troll folded arms stubbornly. "Just answer it, and you may cross without being pushed into the lava. Maybe..." The Troll gave an evil cackle.

Pisces whispered, "Do _you_ know the answer?" Epik whispered back, "No, because there are _many_ answers. It's the riddle without a definite answer I think." Pisces groaned. Septy pulled off her headphones. "Wait, what just happened?"

Grey answered for everyone. Unfortunately. "Because it's a Conspiracy." The Troll laughed. "TROLOLOLOLOL! Nope. Now you will all die a horrible, painful death."

"Not fair!" Epik protested while hitting Grey. "Besides, there _is_ no answer!" The Troll's mask seemed to be grinning even more evilly. "Not my problem. Never trust strangers _or_ trolls, kids!" The Troll seemed to grow larger, muscles bulging and nails growing long and twisted. Ew.

"Ew," Grey said. Septy raised an eyebrow. Pisces leaped forward and suddenly there was a Pokemon-style battle stage.

**Team of Nopeville sent out Pisces!**

 

**Troll used Claw!**

 

**Pisces avoided the attack.**

 

**Pisces used Flip Attack!**

 

"Did someone bring popcorn?" Epik asked, interrupting the attack sequence. "No but I brought 3D glasses," Grey was handing out a pair to everyone. Aradia was eating hers.

 

**It is super effective!**

 

**Troll used Troll Face!**

 

**Pisces fainted.**

 

**Switch Pokemon?**

 

"GO, EPIK!" Grey threw Epik.

 

**Team of Nopeville sent out Epik!**

 

**Epik swore at Grey.**

 

**Epik used Stare of Doom!**

 

**Troll's Defense harshly fell!**

 

**Troll used Ultra Kick To The Face!**

 

**It is super effective!**

 

**Epik used Purple Laser Eyes!**

 

**It is not very effective...**

 

**Troll used Troll Face!**

 

**Epik fainted.**

 

**Switch Pokemon?**

 

Grey jumped out onto the stage with a screech. Septy was busy flipping through her songs.

 

**Team of Nopeville sent out Grey!**

 

**Rudely not letting him attack, Aradia used a Poke Ball!**

 

...

...

...

 

**Troll was caught!**

By this time, Pisces and Epik had recovered. Everyone stared at the Poke Ball containing the Troll. Aradia carefully picked it up and placed it in her robes' pocket. "I had a good attack!" Grey looked disappointed. Septy walked past everyone and marched over the rickety bridge, causing a few boards to fall in. She wasn't a Pokemon person.

Everyone followed more cautiously, except Grey, who almost fell in by jumping on the bridge.

What dangers awaited the daring travelers? Only (something) would tell...yes I do know the term thank you, I'll be going now.

 

_**Until the next bout of inspiration...** _


	5. Three Star Ninjas

After their first adventure, the fabulous five saw that it was sunset, and thus sought out shelter. They found a convenient 4.3 star hotel disguised as a humble cottage in the woods. Free WiFi included. (Septy: Yay!)

Nobody noticed the blatant foreshadowing in the form of a sign filled with advertisements that included this:

_Local Ninja group takes care of all your enemies for only a modest sum!_

_Talk to the lady behind the desk at the Greatest Unrealistically Situated 4.3 star hotel ahead!_

All the other advertisements were mysteriously blank. But-

"There's something weird about that..." Epik said, frowning at the sign.

Oi. You didn't notice, Epik.

Epik forgot what just happened, had a sense of déjà vu, shrugged, and continued on her merry way with the others.

"That sign _is_ a bit suspicious," Pisces agreed. Epik stared at her, finally realizing what had just happened. Septy, Grey and Aradia all looked at the sign too.

Guys. You weren't supposed to notice!

"But we did," Septy informed the Narrator.

So thinking nothing of it, they went and stayed in the hotel anyway. In a surprising plot twist, they were all captured by three Ninjas in the night.

(Everyone slow clap for the Narrator)

Shut up.

~~~

Waking up in the morning is never a pleasant experience. Waking up in some kind of labyrinth tied up with chains is even worse. In the latter case, you do not have quick access to caffeine. I'm shuddering just thinking about it...

Epik peered at the stone ceiling with ancient writings, coming slowly to the conclusion that this was not where she had fallen asleep the night before. She sensed that everyone else was nearby. In fact, they were all chained in a row on the stone floor, which wasn't great for the back. The half-awake growling signified that Septy too had woken up. Epik could hear murmuring from probably their captors.

"...could be those reality manipulators at large..."

"If they are, we should kill them before they wake up."

"Would that even work?"

Epik was really confused. She needed coffee, and so did Septy. Epik couldn't see much, and this was because her eyes were half-closed. "Mmph...?" Epik tried to ask. The voices stopped. Aradia chose this moment to wake up. Finding herself in chains, she smiled.

Aradia happened to be a chain charmer. So she pet the chains, and they started to coil and weave away, unshackling their master as the good chains they were.

"Good chainsss," Aradia commented.

Epik was aware of screams and footsteps running away. Then she was released from her own chains. Grey miraculously stayed asleep throughout the entire chain charming event. Oh and the screams. He slept through the screams too.

Aradia stood there, chains weaving around her and decorating the brim of her top hat, which had stayed on through being captured in the middle of the night. Yes, she was wearing it all night.

Epik grunted. Pisces eyed the chained Dungeon Monster warily. Grey snored.

Fortunately, Epik had enough sense to produce the coffee from her bag, which had not been lost or removed after the capture. Yeah, I don't know either.

Septy magically summoned a coffee maker, and they plugged it into thin air. Thus the morning coffee was made because who cares about logic?

Grey eventually woke up. "Ninja Conspiracy," were his first words upon waking. Pisces threw her empty mug at him.

"Maybe we should find out what--censored Septy's rudeness--somehow captured us." Septy was not pleased that she had been captured without waking up and punching her captor's face in. 

The Narrator paused the action for about two and a half years, then resumed it as if nothing had happened, even though her life had drastically changed: she got married, had ten kids and moved into a mansion after publishing fifty books! _.._. (Possibly an exaggeration) _  
_

Though two years had passed from the point of view of the Narrator, only about two seconds passed before our brave protagonists came to a decision. _  
_

Epik and Pisces looked around the creepy looking and most likely underground labyrinth with some apprehension, which is understandable however no one else seemed that apprehensive. Grey was making bacon over the campfire he had somehow started. Possibly he actually had something useful in his pockets but more likely he had harnessed Septy's unbridled rage over their capture... correction: her capture. Where he actually got the bacon is anyone's guess. Aradia was standing near a wall with the chains floating around her, she was whispering to them, nothing too nefarious, just giving them names.

Or maybe that is pretty nefarious.

Epik managed to stop being apprehensive of the labyrinth in order to transfer all of that apprehension, times a hundred, towards Aradia turning a bunch of chains into pets. 

"Maybe we should try to get out of here instead of chasing whoever brought us here...?" Pisces made a helpful suggestion. Sadly it was not the winning suggestion, as Septy's face suggested that she wasn't going to take that suggestion, and Grey yelled--which was painful for everyone's ears even more so than usual with the echoes--"BUT THAT'S NO FUN!"

Epik was still being traumatized and instead of giving her opinion, hid behind Pisces. Aradia was apparently down for anything because she neither agreed nor objected. In fact, she didn't say anything at all, unless you count what she was saying to her chains.

Pisces looked as if she was _very_ done with everything, and sighed. So the decision was actually reached in about five minutes, but who's counting? 

(Not you clearly)

Be quiet voice in parenthesis.

Septy marched down the long stone walled corridor in the direction that their would be captors had clearly gone, unless they had somehow went through the walls. Pisces followed with Grey behind, eating his bacon. He didn't even share it, how rude. Epik noticed he also didn't put out the fire, which she knew was dangerous in forests because you could start a forest fire. Fortunately this wasn't a forest, but it _was_ still pretty inconsiderate, so Epik tried to stomp it out. This would have been a marvelous _subtly included_ safety lesson about the importance of putting out your campfires except that Epik herself caught fire and instead of stopping, dropping, and rolling, she flailed and yelped. It was not very effective. At all. Aradia, who was the only one who hadn't started after the others, had one of her chains wrap around a bucket of water that just happened to be lying around--and the biggest mystery is why Epik didn't use that to put out the fire in the first place--and fling it over Epik, which was effective at both putting the fire out and turning up the volume of Epik's yelping. One effect was the intended one and the other was not, but it may not be quite so obvious which was which.

Aradia grinned and casually walked past the now soaking and shocked Epik, her chains now wrapped decoratively all around her top hat for safe keeping, because they'd probably get in the way otherwise. Decorative and practical!

Epik ended up trailing behind because though she had not expressed it earlier, she actually wasn't all that thrilled about this 'chasing our captors and making them pay' idea.  

"When you're in an unfamiliar place aren't you supposed to stay where you are... so you don't get more lost?" Epik finally voiced her misgivings after a few twists and turns in the labyrinth that Septy had chosen at random because it wasn't exactly obvious which way their captors had gone. Septy glanced over her shoulder. All the way back to Epik. "Yeah, if there's someone you expect to come _find_ you when you're lost, but who do you think is going to be looking for us in this random labyrinth that probably almost no one knows about in the middle of friggin' nowhere?" It must be pointed out that 'friggin' was probably not Septy's exact word choice. 

Grey peered around a corner. "The Ninjas?"

Septy rolled her eyes, but nobody saw because she was facing ahead again. 

"Wait, what ninjas?" Pisces asked. Technically nobody had seen them, but after the advertisement--cough--blatant foreshadowing--cough--they had walked right past it should have been obvious. It also should have been more obvious when a shuriken flew right past Grey's head as he pointed around the corner he was looking. 

And when he said, "Those Ninjas." 

Someone screamed, and it might have been Epik. Actually it was Epik. The Ninjas were flattened against the wall of that corridor, just waiting to ambush the oblivious five, well Grey wasn't the oblivious one for once. 

Septy whirled and turned back towards where Grey had indicated the Ninjas; she looked ready to fight all three of them at once. One of the Ninjas had a bow and a quiver of arrows which he decided to make use of now that their ambush wasn't quite going as planned. Honestly they were all probably wondering why the Narrator made it so easy for the five protagonists to be captured last night without them waking up and now so difficult to ambush in a literal labyrinth that they were lost in.

"Yeah I was wondering that," muttered the Ninja with the bow as he loaded five arrows at once and let them fly at Grey, Septy, Pisces, Aradia and Epik. The arrows were enchanted to lock on to their targets, which was why they all headed in the right directions. 

There was a terrible THUNK as the arrow aimed at Grey went right through his head! Before you panic, fear not, there was not even a drop of blood shed, although Grey did dramatically fall onto the ground. Which was followed by him sitting back up looking very much alive despite the arrow apparently lodged in his skull, however he disproved that theory by lifting the arrow off his head; the arrow was curved in the middle like it was just sitting on his head all that time instead of having gone through it. 

The arrow that had been aimed towards Septy met a worse fate; she caught it with the point a few inches away from her face and casually snapped the arrow over her knee, throwing the pieces to one side. 

Pisces's arrow turned into a handful of glitter just before it hit her, and Pisces quickly regretted that as she was smothered in a cloud of glitter. Plus you know it's never going to all come off.

Epik, who was near a wall, just ducked and let the arrow hit the wall. It was more like faceplanting but the intent was to duck, Epik just slipped in her soggy shoes.

Finally the arrow meant for Aradia lodged in the link of one of her chains which she then pulled out and flicked away, barely missing Epik. It was probably an accident. Aradia also decided to shift the balance of power by making the chains that all of them had been chained up with float around and around the Ninjas, wrapping them up back to back. 

Grey placed his arrow "headband" back on his head and said, "Now it looks like I've been shot in the head!" One of the Ninjas spluttered through his face mask, "You _were_ shot in the head! I saw it!" 

"How can you see anything with those masks covering most of your face?" Grey asked casually. Pisces added, "That is a good question, I mean you barely have peripheral vision." 

The Ninjas did not seem amused, however like just mentioned they did have masks covering most of their faces so their expressions were a little hard to see. "Our eyes aren't completely covered!" The same Ninja as before protested, "And the masks hide our identities!"

"Be quiet," growled the Ninja directly behind the one who was talking, "you'll just make things worse, they're definitely reality manipulators."

Septy was currently glaring at the now chained up Ninjas with her arms crossed. "That's right, so now you'll tell me who the hell you are and why you captured us." Septy also still wanted to know how she hadn't woken up while being captured but she figured that had not been caused by the Ninjas.

Septy was right, it was caused by me.

Septy glared up into nothingness, actually at the Narrator but it's not like anyone else could tell what exactly she was glaring at. 

The Ninjas looked at each other. Finally the one who had tried to shoot them said, "We're the Three Star Ninjas." Septy arched an eyebrow fabulously. 

"Why are you called the _Three Star_ Ninjas?" Pisces wanted to know. Aradia was standing next to the Ninjas to keep an eye on her chains, she also gave the Ninjas a toothy grin. 

"Because our average rating online is three stars, of course." Obviously.

There was a collective "Ooooh" from everyone except for Septy--who was not impressed--and Aradia--who was staring at the Ninjas with her creepy smile--.

"Like three star rated Ninjas could take me on," muttered Septy. 

"Who hired you?" Epik chimed in, thinking this might be pretty important information. 

 

One of the Ninjas had tried to wriggle out of the chains using super Ninja powers but clearly escape was almost impossible unless you happen to be a chain charmer. Because escape seemed futile she answered grumpily, "The Pirates of Fabu."

 

_**Dun dun DUN...** _


End file.
